The Last Podcast

Rambl Radio: The Last Podcast

This is a two-voice comedy from Rambl Radio. Two different casts bring Sam and Meg to life — pick one above and listen.

Genre: Light comedy / meta-humor

Duration: ~4 minutes

Voices: Sam (the enthusiast) and Meg (the realist)

Best listened: When you need a laugh on your morning walk.

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Sam: Welcome back to "Two People Talking," the podcast where two people talk. I'm Sam.

Meg: I'm Meg. And Sam, I have to tell you something.

Sam: Oh, is this the big announcement? Are we doing the big announcement? Should I do the dramatic pause? I've been practicing.

Meg: Please don't do the dramatic pause.

Sam: Too late, I'm already pausing. Feel that? That's drama. That's tension. The listener at home is leaning in.

Meg: The listener at home is walking their dog and trying to decide if we're worth the rest of this block.

Sam: Fair. Okay. What's the announcement?

Meg: I'm not sure we should be a podcast anymore.

Sam: I'm sorry, what?

The Four Million Problem

Meg: Think about it. There are four million podcasts. Four million, Sam. That's more podcasts than there are people in Los Angeles, and at least half of them are two friends who thought they were funnier than they are.

Sam: I feel personally attacked and also statistically validated.

Meg: Here's my point. Everything we talk about — the recommendations, the hot takes, the "what I've been reading this week" segment that you insist on calling "Sam's Intellectual Property" —

Sam: It's branded, Meg. We have branding.

Meg: We have a name you wrote on a napkin. My point is: all of that would work better as short essays. Written down. Like, with sentences and paragraphs. Things you can convert to audio and listen to at your own pace without my co-host interrupting every forty seconds to make a reference nobody gets.

Sam: My references land. The people who get them really appreciate them.

Meg: Your mom texted me about the last one. She said, and I'm quoting, "What was Sam talking about with the platypus?"

The Platypus Incident

Sam: The platypus thing was a metaphor for late-stage capitalism and I stand by it.

Meg: This is exactly what I'm talking about. If you wrote that down — the actual idea about how weird systems persist because nobody questions them — that's a good essay. A really good essay. Three minutes of somebody walking through the park, hearing you make your point clearly, without the twenty minutes of platypus banter surrounding it.

Sam: But the banter is what makes us us!

Meg: The banter is what makes us sixty minutes when we should be twelve. Sam, people are busy. They're walking to work, they're walking their dogs, they've got twenty minutes and they want something that respects that time. You know what respects someone's twenty minutes?

Sam: A well-crafted essay converted into audio with a really good voice that sounds like a friend walking beside you?

Meg: That was suspiciously specific.

Sam: I may have been thinking about this too.

The Last Episode

Meg: You've been thinking about ending the podcast?

Sam: I've been thinking about how the best stuff we do is when one of us has a real idea and explains it clearly. The rest is just... filling space between ads.

Meg: We don't have ads.

Sam: Which might be related to the four million problem.

Meg: So what are you saying?

Sam: I'm saying maybe the best version of "Two People Talking" is... two people writing. Separately. About what they actually care about. And then someone listens to it on a walk and thinks, "huh, that's interesting," and goes on with their morning slightly better than they started it.

Meg: That's the most focused thing you've said in forty-seven episodes.

Sam: See? I should write it down before I ruin it.

Meg: This has been the last episode of "Two People Talking."

Sam: The podcast where two people finally stopped talking.

Meg: Go write something. Go listen to something. Go for a walk.

Sam: Leave the platypus alone.

Meg: Goodbye, everyone.

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The Last Podcast is part of Rambl Radio — short audio fiction for walkers. [Listen to more on Rambl](/).